The Groan Factory....Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Did you hear
about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's novocaine during root canal
work?
A group of chess
enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing
their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came
out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they
moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open
foyer." A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp. A mushroom walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms here." The mushroom says, "Why?! I'm a fun guy!"
There was a
man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns,
in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun
in ten did.
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