<BGSOUND src="http://www.robinsweb.com/materialgirl.mid">

Blonde Jokes

Q. Why do blonds like convertibles?   A. It gives them more head room!
Q. Why do blonds wear hoop earring? A. It gives them a place to rest their heels!
Q. What do you call a brunette in between 2 blonds?   A. Interpreter!

Submitted by: janice stephenson

What do a blonde and a turtle have in common? Once they're on their back, they're screwed.
How do you get four blondes on a barstool? Turn it over.
Submitted by: Crystal

Two blondes were walking down the street. One of them says, "Oh look, a dead bird." The other one looks up into the sky and says, "Where?" Submitted by: Mark Kaye
Q:What is the first thing a blonde does when she gets out of bed in the morning?
A:Introduces herself and goes home. Matt

How do you know if a blonde's been using your computer?
There's white out all over the screen

How do you know if another blonde's been using your computer?
There's writing all over the white out

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Cause she was throwing away all the W's

What do you call 100 blonde's lined up ear to ear?
A wind tunnel

What do a blonde and an airplane have in common?
a cockpit

Submitted by: Kath

There were two blondes fighting over what kind of tracks there were. The 1st blonde says there bear tracks. The 2nd blonde says there deer tracks. They stand there fighting over this and all of a sudden a train comes by and hits them.
Submitted by: Murrah

One day this blonde is riding a horse. As they are trotting along the blond decides she wants to go faster and do some tricks so she starts turning the horse around in a circle. All of a sudden she starts to slip so she grabs the horses mane. But even though she has hold of the mane she was still slipping. so she decided the best thing to do was to not fall off by putting her foot in the saddle. So she's riding along hanging from her foot, with her head banging on the ground, almost near death when the K Mart guy comes over and turns of the horse.
Submitted by: Murrah

Two blondes came into a bar, sat down, and ordered drinks. They were making merry in a serious way and it was obvious to the bartender that they were celebrating something big. His curiosity finally got the better of him and he says " I hate to be nosy, but it's obvious that you two are celebrating something big. What's the occasion" One blonde replies "Well, we are just sooo proud of ourselves, because we just finished - just the two of us alone - a 50 piece jigsaw puzzle in only 3 days." Confused, the bartender says "So?", to which the other blonde says "Well, on the box it says 3 - 5 years"
Submitted: SGR

Q.What happens to a blonde that gets Alzheimers Disease?
A.Her IQ goes up!
Submitted by: Duncan

This blonde,brunette and a redhead are escaping from jail. The redhead jumps over the wall and lands with a THUMP. The guard yells "Who's out there?" The redhead says"meow""Oh it's just a cat" The brunette jumps over the wall and lands with a THUMP. The guard yells"who's out there? The brunette says"meow." "Oh it's just that darn cat, get lost you stupid thing." Then the blonde jumps over and lands with a THUMP."Who's out there?" "The blonde yells "It's just that darn cat".
Submitted by: Michelle Lazier

> - she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
> - she thought a quarterback was a refund
> - she tried to drown a fish
> - she tripped over a cordless phone
> - she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate"
> - she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind
> - she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK"
> - if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back
> - they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade
> - she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
> - at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here"..she put "Sagittarius"
> - she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store
> - if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless
> - she studied for a blood test - and failed
> - she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train
> - she sold the car for gas money
> - when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got
> 16 friends
> - when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved
> - she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill
> - when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
Submitted by: kujodynasty

Two blondes were walking in the woods and came across some tracks. "Look," said one blonde, "deer tracks"  "Don't be stupid," said the other blonde, "those are moose tracks". They were still arguing when the train hit them
Submitted by: Maggie   Email: maggiea@empireone.net

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead escaped from jail. They ran into the woods and all hid up a different tree. The guard comes looking for them and he shines his flashlight up the tree where the brunette is and she says "meow" and he says Oh it's just a cat. Then he goes to the tree where the redhead is and she says "whooo whooo" and he says Oh it's just an owl. Then he goes to the tree where the blonde is and she says "moo"!
Submitted by: Natalie

Why can't blondes count to 70? Because 69 is a mouth full.
Submitted by: Ryan   Email: brianj@hotkey.com.au

This blonde wanted to know how to fly a helicopter, so she got an instructor to teach her by radio. Everything was going fine until the instructor saw the helicopter crash down. He ran to the helicopter and pulled her out of the wreck asking her what happened. She said "Everything was going fine until i felt a bit cold and i turned off the big fan!"
Submitted by:Kalika   Email: kalika_66@hotmail.com

What do you do if a Blonde Throws a Grenade at you? Take the pin out and Throw it back.
Submitted by: Stubbs Email: Stubbs57@aol.com

There was a blonde, a brunette and a red head were stuck on an island and decided to swim back to shore. The redhead went, and got a quarter of the way, and drowned, the brunette went and got half way and drowned and the blonde got 3/4 of the way and said 'I'm tired, I'm going back!!'
Submitted by: Emily Email: providence2@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Atlantis/7389/

One day a blonde's house was on fire so she called 911. The operator asked her to explain
what was happening, and the blonde began screaming that her house was on fire. The operator
told her to just calm down and explain to her how to get to her house. Without hesitating,
the blonde said: "Well duh, BIG RED TRUCK!!!"
Submitted by: David and April

Name: Bob the compownded
Comments: There was a blonde, a brunette and a redhead, all about to swim across the English Channel. The only rule was that all three had to swim the breaststroke. The brunette came first with the redhead close behind her. Hours later, the blonde came, panting and spitting out water. When she raeched the shore, she said "I don't wanna be a sore loser, but i don't think they used their breasts."

Email: gbjc@outerbounds.net
How many blonde jokes are there? None they are all true .
Stephanie+Amber Mooney
A man was at ceasers palace (a gambling place)and got thirsty.He decided to go to the soda machine.When he got there there was a blonde in front of him.She kept putting money in and takeing the soda out.Finally after about ten min. he asked her what she was doing.She replied with "SSHHHHHHH;I'm winning!"

Name: afghani
Email: afgn1@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://
How did you get here: Just Surfed On In!
Comments: there were three blondes driving from wyoming to florida to go to Disney land
They drove day after day. Finally they get to the exit and see a sign saying disney land left,
so they turned around and went home.

Name: Swift
Email: jackaday@earthlink.net
Homepage: http://
How did you get here: Just Surfed On In!
Comments: Why do blondes were panties? To keep there ankles warm.

Name: Swift
Email: jackaday@earthlink.net
Homepage: http://
How did you get here: Just Surfed On In!
Comments: There are three blonds stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairyapprears to grant each of them a wish.
The first blond asks to be intelligent.
Inastantly, she is turned into a brown haired woman and swims off the island.
The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a black haired woman.
The black haired woman builds a bout and sails off the island.
The third blond asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two.
The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge!

Name: flyguy
Email: (NONE)
Homepage: http://
How did you get here: Just Surfed On In!
Comments: what is a bump on a blondes ass called?
A brain tumor

Name: ROSS
Email: ross_rules2@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://
How did you get here: A basic Web Search
Comments: How do yo make a blonde laugh on monday mourning?

Tell her a joke on friday night.

Name: stephanie
Email: bakstgrl@twcny.rr.com
Homepage: http://
How did you get here: Just Surfed On In!
Comments: a cop is driving and sees a blonde riding in her car too fast and pulls her over. he calls into the station and says "I've got a dumb blonde" the sheriff goes "you know what to do!" and so the cop goes over and stands in front of her car and pulls down his pants and the blonde goes "oh man not another breathalizer test!"

Name: stephanie
Email: bakstgrl@twcny.rr.com
a blonde walks into an appliance store and says I'd like to buy this TV. The worker replies "we don't sell things to dumb blondes" she says "how do you know I'm dumb?" "'cos thats a microwave" he says.

Name: Alexis De Nike
Email: olympicd@tcimet.net
There was a robber and he Kidnapped a Blonde, brunette, and a red head. The robber said I am going to shoot all of yall. he pointed the gun at the brunette and said readdy aim and she said, LIGHTING, and the robber looked away and she ran away. He pointed the gun at the red head and said ready aim and she yelled out, TORNATO!He looked away and she ran away. He pointed the gun at the Blonde and said ready aim and she said, FIRE!

Name: Laura

How do you drive a dumb blonde crazy? Put her in a round room and tell her to pee in the corner.

Name: Amanda
Email: moon_angel_80@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://
How did you get here: Word of Mouth
Comments: Q: How do you know that a blond has used your computer?
A: The joystick is wet.

Do you have a good joke to tell me?  Whisper it to me in Marilyn's voice and then press send!

:::Important Notice as of 1/6/99:::

I 've been having a major blonde moment due to the fact that you all are sending me too many Blonde jokes.

I mean, I asked for it, right?  But, it's practically a full time job keeping up with all of the submissions!  Please use this guestbook format to submit your jokes! Thanks, ever so much.

Submit Your Blonde Jokes Here!

Read the Jokes!

Go back to page one of Blonde Jokes

Original Button & Background

Contact Webmaster@Robin's Web with questions or comments regarding this site.
Copyright©1997 Robin L. Olson, Robin's Web, All Rights Reserved.