Youz in Maryland talk funny... The "Merlin" Dialect
The Merlin Dialect is spoken by a mixed population which inhabits a triangular
area on the western littoral of the Chesapeake Bay, bounded roughly by a
line commencing at Towson's Toyota, then westward to the Frederick Mall,
thence following the western border of the cable TV franchise and the string
of McDonald's along Route 50 to the Bay.
All of these lands and the natives thereof are known as the Land of
Merlin. They divide it further into semi--tribal areas called "Cannies"
(e.g., Ballmer Canny, PeeGee Canny, Muntgumry Canny, Hard Canny, etc.).
The dialect area is centered on a market center called Glimburny, there the
people come on weekends to trade their goods. Because of the numerous words
and phrases common to both Merlin Dialect and modern English, linguists have
long postulated that there is some kinship between the two.
Speakers of Merlin Dialect are all able to understand standard English from
babyhood, chiefly because of their voracious appetite for television. However,
they invariably refuse to speak standard English, even with outsiders who
obviously cannot understand a word they say.
Lesson 1 Vocabulary
Ballmer -- Our city
Merlin -- Our State
Arn ---- What you do to wrinkled clothes
Bulled Egg -- An egg cooked in water
Chest Peak -- A large body of water nearby
Colleyflare -- A white vegetable
Downey Owe Shin -- Summertime destination "down to the ocean"
(such as Ayshun City)
Droodle Pork -- Druid Hill Park
Faren Gins -- Red trucks that put out fires
Flicktid -- A word only Merlin natives have ever heard of or
used. Possibly deriving from the word "afflicted" taken from standard
english (ex. "Shut up. Yor jist flicktid!)
Hi Hon -- How we always say "hello"
Hode Ooon -- When a secretary puts you on hold.
Holluntown -- Highland Town
Nap Lis -- Capital of the state of Merlin
Ole Bay -- What our crabs taste like
Oreos -- Our baseball team
Payment -- That strip of cement that you walk on
PohLeese -- Those guys in uniform that git ya when you're speedin'
Share -- What you take in the morning to get you clean
Flares -- Tulips, roses, etc.
Tarred -- How you feel when you work too hard
Warsh -- What we do with dirty clothes
Warter -- What we drink (aka "Wooter")
Winders -- Those glass things that we look out of
Paramore -- Power mower
Brawl -- Broil
Sem Elem -- Seven Eleven
Allanic -- an ocean
Arnjuice -- from the sunshine tree
Arouwn in all directions -- norf, souf, ees, and wes
Aspern -- what you take for headaches
Bald -- the way some people like their eggs
Bawler -- what the plumber calls your furnace
Beeno -- a famous railroad
Calf Lick -- as in "bleevers are Protestant, Jewish, and ..."
Canny -- a state gubmit division, such as Montgomery, Anne Arundel or Prince
Drooslem -- city in the Holy Land
Duddeney -- "He sure does, duddeney?
Err -- a time measurement of 60 minutes
Far place -- where we burn wood
Fard -- area between the eyes and the hairline
Farmin -- the people who fight fars
Ford -- opposite of backward
Idnit -- "It is, idnit?"
Ignernt -- ignorant
Klumya -- Rouse's new city (Columbia)
Meer -- what you see your reflection in
Mudnlaw -- the woman who's married to your fodlaw
Natty Boh -- Beer
Norf Abnew -- North Avenue
Numb -- conjunctive 1st person pronoun: "Aw've bin workin six
errors numb tarred."
Plooshin -- let's get it out of the Cheaspeake
Sarn -- what a Pleece Car or Farn Gin makes noise with
Slong -- "good-bye"
Spearmint -- experiment
Warshnin -- our nation's capital
Wooder -- what you wrench your hands with
Yerp -- Europe
Youz -- you all
Zinc -- where you wrench your hands or wash your dishes
Lesson 2. Oral Exercises
Listen and Repeat:
Merlin: Ah herd sarns at sod the hass a bat hunnert toms lass not. Itsem
Ann Earl Canny farn gins.
Standard: I heard sirens outside the house about a hundred times last
night. It's those Anne Arundel County fire engines.
Merlin: She raider boskle from Droodle Pork to dantan Ballmer wither ahz
Standard: She rode her bicycle from Druid Hill Park to downtown Baltimore
with her eyes closed.
Merlin: The Hard Canny Toms sayz the canny cancel pace pained bon ambalances.
Standard: The Howard County Times says the County Council postponed buying
Merlin: Pitcher bane seat owen. Weer goon danny ayshun.
Standard: Put your bathing suit on. We're going down to the ocean.
Merlin: Ah sawn ambalance good dan Rosters Tan Raid a bat a huunert molls
an air, nit was porn dan rain.
Standard: I saw an ambulance going down Reisterstown Road about a hundred
miles an hour, and it was pouring down rain.
Merlin: It spaced a snaid mora. Better pitcher snay tars owen.
Standard: It's supposed to snow tomorrow. Better put your snow tires on.
What do Marylanders do for a big night out?
They eat crabs and then go
Duckpin Bowling! (And talk
about going to "da beach"!)
The MD Dialect
You know you're from
Road Rules of DC
Gotta be a Marylander
to fully appreciate this...