The Creation of the Eastern Shore of Maryland
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael, the Archangel, found Him resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed Downward through
the clouds. "Look, Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call
it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of the earth,
"For example, Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while
Africa is going to be poor. The Middle East over there will be a hot spot."
God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely
hot and while this one will be very cold and covered with ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass
with an ocean as its border and said, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God, "that's the Eastern Shore of Maryland, the most glorious
place on earth. There are beautiful beaches, rivers, lakes, and climate.
The people from the Eastern Shore are going to be modest, intelligent, and
humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be
extremely sociable, hardworking, and high achieving people, and they will
be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then exclaimed, " What about
balance, God? You said there would be balance!
Everyone and everything seems so totally perfect in this place you call the
Eastern Shore of Maryland."
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the assholes I'm sending there every