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A man and his secretary
decide to have an affair, so they rent a hotel and go have strenuous sex
all
afternoon. He's not used to the pace, so he falls asleep afterwards and doesn't
wake up until about
8:30 at night.
They have sex again, and then the man realizes it's time to go home. He says
to his secretary, "Take
my shoes outside while I get dressed and drag them through the grass and
mud." Puzzled, the
secretary complies.
When the man gets home about 9:30pm his wife confronts him and asks where
he's been. The man
says, "I cannot lie to you, I have spent the day making love to my secretary,
fell asleep, just woke up
and came right home." The woman looks down at his shoes and says, "You lying
SOB, you've been out
playing golf again!"
A fellow has a week off and decides to play a round of golf every day. First
thing Monday morning, he
sets off on his first round and soon catches up to the person in front. He
sees that this is a woman
and, as he catches up to her on a par 3, that, in fact, she's very attractive.
He's interested and
suggests that they play the rest of the round together. She agrees and a
very close match ensues.
She turns out also to be a very talented golfer and she wins their little
competition on the last hole.
He congratulates her in the parking lot, then offers to give her a lift when
he sees she doesn't have a
car. All in all, it's been a highly enjoyable morning.
On the way to her place, she thanks him for the morning's company and competition
and says she
hasn't enjoyed herself so much on the course for a long time. "In fact,"
she says, "I'd like you to pull
over so I can show you how much I appreciated everything." He pulls over,
they kiss and she shows
him her appreciation...
The next morning he spies her at the first tee and suggests they play together
again. He's actually
quite competitive and slightly peeved that she beat him the previous day.
Again they have a
magnificent day, enjoying each other's company and playing a tight competitive
round of golf. Again
she pips him at the last, again he drives her home and again she shows her
appreciation.
This goes on all week, with her beating him narrowly every day. This is a
sore point for his male ego
but, nevertheless, in the car home from their Friday afternoon round, he
tells her that he has had
such a fine week that he has a surprise planned: dinner for two at a fancy
candle-lit restaurant followed by a night of passion in the penthouse
apartment of a city hotel.
Surprisingly, she bursts into tears and says she can't agree to this.
He can't work out what the fuss is about but eventually she admits the reason.
"You see," she tearfully sobs,"I'm a transvestite."
He is aghast. He swerves violently off the road, pulls the car to a
screeching halt and curses madly, overcome with emotion.
"I'm sorry," she repeats.
"You bastard," he screams, "You cheating bastard! "You've been playing off
the
women's tees all week!!"
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class
was in full swing. The
instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing
the men how to
give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then
announced, "Ladies,
exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen,
it wouldn't hurt you to take
the time to go walking with your partner!" The room really got quiet. Finally,
a man in the middle of
the group raised his hand. "Yes?" replied the teacher. "Is it alright if
she carries a golf bag while we
walk?" |
