Famous people answer that all important,
burning question....


Pat Buchanan
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

Louis Farrakhan
The road, you will see, represents the black man.
The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and
keep him down.

The Bible
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto
the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road."
And the chicken crossed the road, and there was great rejoicing

L.A. Police Department
Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.

Richard M. Nixon
The chicken did not cross the road.
I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don't know any
chickens. I have never known any chickens.

Dr. Seuss
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, = I've not been told!

Ernest Hemingway
To die. In the rain. Alone.

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough for us.

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Karl Marx
It was an historical inevitability.

Saddam Hussein
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and
we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Ronald Reagan
What chicken?

Captain James T. Kirk
To boldly go where no chicken
has ever gone before.

Fox Mulder
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

The point is that the chicken crossed
the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies
the motive.

Bill Gates
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable
part of eChicken.

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?

Bill Clinton
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
However, I did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken a job in New York.

(Below was added on 12/16/02)

I don't think I should have to answer that question.

I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the
chicken crossing the road represented the application of these
two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way
designed to bring greater services to the American people.

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening
to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming
story of how it a serious case of molting and went on to
accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will
defend to the death its right to do it.

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had
been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken
did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the
road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it
was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet
someone out there is already forming a support group to help
chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this?
How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing
the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax
dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took
from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I
had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave
me any insider information.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross
roads without having their motives called into question.

Colonel Sanders
I missed one?

©1998, Robin L. Olson, Robin's Web, All Rights Reserved.