The Joys of
--Brilliant Woman Author Unknown
Women over 50
don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they
One of life's mysteries
is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
My mind not only wanders,
it sometime leaves completely.
The best way to forget
all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
The nice part about
living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone
The older you get,
the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat
are really good friends.
Just when I was getting
used to yesterday,
along came today.
Sometimes I think
I understand everything,
then I regain consciousness.
I gave up jogging
for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting
my pantyhose on fire.
Amazing! You hang
something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes!
Skinny people irritate
me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget
Now I've forgotten
my address, my
mother's maiden name, and my keys.
But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid
to forget to eat.
A friend of mine confused
her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she
doesn't really care.
The trouble with some
women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
I read this article
that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying,
and driving too fast. Are they kidding?
That is my idea of a perfect day.
I know what Victoria's
Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.
Please forward this page to all the brilliant women in your life!
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