Headlines in the year: 2050

US Government finally pays off the debt from the Iraq war which was a half century ago.
Florida to Be Readmitted to Union
Plague of Spotted Owls Threaten Crops, Livestock
Texas Executes Last Remaining Citizen
Great and Benevolent Galactic Ruler Reveals That Anal Probes Were "Just For Fun"
Mother Monica Dies: Revered Hero of Bangkok Slums Overcame Lurid Past With US President
Wealthy Widow Anna Nicole Smith, 83, Weds Handsome Young Actor. "This Is True Love," He Beams.
President "Bonecrusher" Jones to Face Chief Justice "Mad Dog" Ortega In Cage Match
Baltimore Rams Defeat St. Louis Ravens
Pope Phil II Settles Custody Battle With Ex-Wife
Upcoming NFL Draft Likely to Focus On Mutants
Younger Generation's Music Provokes Outrage of Elders
D.C. Zoo to Receive Rare Cow
Authentic Year 2000 Chad Sells For $6.9 Million at Sotheby's
Nursing Home Lawsuit Case: Clinton Denies Candy Striper's Allegations
Court Clears AOLTimeWarnerGE-DisneyCiscoFordRJR-NabiscoExxon-Mobil of Monopoly Charges
50-Year Study: Diet and Exercise Key to Weight Loss
Baby Conceived Naturally
It Wasn't the Cigarettes - It Was the Ashtrays